Friday the 27th of Feb 2012
Goodworth Clatford
Mystery virus hits Opera World
By our Opera Correspondents Fergus O' Gargle and Lucy Phlegming
The world of opera was struck to its core this week as one
of the top stars of stage, screen and Rural Touring was laid low by a mystery
virus. The world of entertainment was rocked as leading doctors were baffled by
the condition of Opera 'Dude' Neil Allen. The non Bafta (Builders Are Future
Tenors Actually) award-winning star started showing unusual symptoms at the
beginning of the week; complaining of 'not feeling terribly well' and 'a bit of
a sore throat', the international singing sensation was rushed to his local
chemist for tests, cough-sweets and Lemsip.
Doctors finally identified the superstar's condition as
suffering from rare virus Neuroticus Takealotofmedicus Tenoronthejobicus and
they immediately prescribed rest, bed and a little tonic. The little tonic soon
appeared in the form of pint-sized operatic dynamo Annette Wardell, who was
despatched as a matter of emergency to provide much-needed medical relief, high
notes and stilettos, something that the Dudes have lacked in the past few
years.
La Donna Is On Her Mobile!
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| Annette Warell |
Knowing that the diminutive diva was already on the way to
provide her unique brand of rescue remedy, the Dudes finally ventured back into
Hampshire on behalf of Hog The Limelight to wow the audiences of Goodworth
Clatford and Cliddeson.
Goodworth Clatford is nothing whatsoever like Upper
Clatford.
A million miles away from its northerly neighbour in every respect,
it was therefore somewhat of a surprise for the Dudes to be greeted by the
fishy decorations that had somehow migrated south since the Dudes' visit to
'Upper'.
The good people of Goodworth Clatford had been warned of
Neil's predicament and on hand was a welcoming committee of Mary, the lovely
caretaker, Margaret, our literary host and a couple of guys with a dog who
wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
The diva ate Annette (an’ ate – geddit!) Annette....
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| Annette Wardell |
Industrial quantities of lasagne were being prepared,
including the vegetarian variety for the medicinal soprano - boy, she can
certainly pack away a bowl of lasagne - phwoar!! - and soon the artistes had
enough fuel in the tank to contemplate the heavy task of performance.
The show was hastily re-written to incorporate the talents of the diminutive diva and before they knew it the audience were being treated to buy two, get the third free! We didn't notice any complaints from the men, although there was a plea at half-time for the ladies to get a bit more attention!
1 comment:
You were really great again and everyone really enjoyed the evening. Glad you liked the lasagne. Does everyone dish up lasagne everywhere you go? That must get a bit boring!!!! Next time I promise something else
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